Dr. Laurie Santos teaches one of the most popular courses in the history of Yale University. It's so large, in fact, that the class meets in Battell Chapel, a church that's been converted into a lecture hall. Over 1200 students enroll in her class, with thousands more following the syllabus freely available on the Internet.
The course is called Psych 157, Psychology and the Good Life.
One of the lectures involves this thought experiment: Imagine that you suddenly find yourself with $100 that you didn't expect. What might you do with it? Judging from data that Dr. Santos has collected, you would probably treat yourself to something. You'd splurge. You probably would not use it to pay off a credit card, or a mortgage, or student debt.
So far so good. Next question: What would you do if you found yourself with an extra hour in the day? Here, most people choose to use the hour doing something 'productive' rather than go for a walk, or watch Netflix, or practice guitar, or spend time with a loved one.
These sorts of lessons are part of the field known as positive psychology. Rather than teach about psychological conditions, such as cognitive and emotional dysfunction, Santos teaches her students how to be happier.
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Happiness is probably not the first thing that comes to your mind during Yom Kippur. Fasting, the vidui confession, the pondering of our own death - these themes don't typically lend themselves to happiness.
But that's because we don't know what happiness is - and science proves it.
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Another thought experiment: Pretend that you have an apple pie (after Yom Kippur ends, of course). You have to cut it into three slices that symbolize happiness. Your genetic makeup is one slice, your life circumstances are another, and the third slice represents your thoughts, actions and attitudes. How big will you make each piece?
Most of us probably agree that genetics makes up a good amount of happiness, perhaps even half. This is the part of the pie that we have absolutely no control of. Most people identify their life circumstances to be the second largest piece, taking up as much as 40%. Most of us think about the circumstances of our life and play the what if game: If I had so-and-so, or if such-and-such happened, I'd be happier.
Some of life's circumstances are in our control, but many are not. Remember the Yiddish saying, Man plans, God laughs. Our circumstances make a huge difference to our happiness.
Lastly, we have your thoughts, actions and attitudes. Most people give this about 10% of the pie, recognizing that our attitudes can influence our outlook on life, even if only a little bit. And of course, we have full control of this third category,
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Sonja Lyubomirsky has spent her career thinking about the makeup of happiness. She has reverse-engineered the sources for happiness by studying thousands of people who identify as happy. The results may be surprising. Research suggests that our genetic makeup does determine about 50% of our happiness. But the other two pieces are reversed. Life circumstance makes up only 10%, and our thoughts, actions and attitudes are 40%. We grossly over-estimate the power of our life circumstances to make us happy.
... As long as basic life needs are met, happiness does not come from circumstance, but from choice. It isn't a matter of luck, or fate, or happenstance, it's a matter of intention. She writes, My students and I have found that truly happy individuals construe life events and daily situations in ways that seem to maintain their happiness, while unhappy individuals construe experiences in ways that seem to reinforce unhappiness.
Her research teaches us that happiness does not come from circumstance, but from choice. It isn't a matter of luck, or fate, or happenstance, it's a matter of intention.
Happiness is a choice.
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Today, on Yom Kippur, we look back on the year and focus on painful and difficult experiences. During Yizkor we intentionally remember our loved ones who are no longer with us. We examine the most flawed parts of ourselves. Chatanu - we have sinned; we have gone astray. And Judaism tells us that even with all of that, even with the tragedies that befell us, the sickness, the losses, the strained relationships, the regrets, we still stand upright and declare, Hineni - here I am.
But this is only part of Yom Kippur's message.
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The Torah reading this Yom Kippur morning includes a specific section of Parashat Nitzavim. Toward the end of Deuteronomy, Moses begins his speech with inspirational words to the Israelites and all of the generations to come: You stand this day all of you before Adonai your God; your captains of your tribe, your elders, and your officers, your little ones, your wives, and your stranger who is in your camp.
Moses could have simply said, Atem nitzavim hayom. culchem lifnei Adonai eloheichem - You stand this day all of you before Adonai your God. But instead of ending his introduction with this brief 'catch-all,' Moses goes on and enumerates different people in the population.
The Torah wants us to realize that even though we all do indeed stand before God on this holiest of days, we are different. We have different life circumstances. Rich, poor, old, young, newlywed, divorced. And society has made us think that those circumstances make all the difference to our lives.
But our Torah tells us otherwise. Toward the end of the portion, as Moses is still talking to all of us who stand here this day, Moses says, Look, I have set before you this day life and death - Tivchar Haiim - Choose life.
Psychology teaches us that for most of us, regardless of our circumstance, we can choose happiness. Judaism tells us that we can choose life.
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The Unetanah Tokef prayer is one of the most powerful prayers that we recite during the High Holidays. It's also one of the most disturbing. As we fervently pray to be written in the Book of Life, we acknowledge that we don't know who shall live and who shall die. Perhaps the specific examples in the prayer are not as relevant as they once were, but its general themes of mortality and finitude are incredibly sobering.
The prayer ends on a hopeful message: Prayer, t'shuvah and charity can temper Judgment's severe decree. I've said before that life is a pre-existing condition. We all have circumstances that are painful and difficult. The judgment's severe decree is in not death, but life!
Judaism reminds us that our own attitudes, feelings and actions, however, are what make all the difference. Prayer, t'shuvah, acts of goodness and righteousness - you have control over these. And I'd like to believe that these are the largest component to living a happy life, a full life, a meaningful life, and not the varying circumstances of judgment's severe decree that we have very little control of.
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Happiness isn't achieved by getting the new iPhone (I can't believe I'm saying this.) A happy person isn't happy because they travel the world, or are unburdened with responsibilities. A person is happy because despite the cruel decrees of life, that person has chosen to be happy. Choose life.
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We are called Yisrael - one who struggles. So - struggle! Struggle with life. With its cruel decree. With its finititude. We ponder these themes of death so that we can learn how to live. As Rabbi Nachman said, If you are not a better person tomorrow than you are today, what need have you for a tomorrow?
In Judaism, we choose life by doing Mitzvot, by recognizing blessings, by being a part of a Jewish community, and by the actions of t’shuvah.
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One of our earlier thought experiments this dealt with affluence. We made the comparison between financial affluence - you've found an extra $100 - and time affluence - you have an extra hour.
Right now, all of us sitting here, by the very nature that we are all sitting here, have the blessing of time affluence. We. have. time. Yom Kippur soberly reminds us that we don't know how much we have, but that's exactly what makes it so powerful. Just as science teaches us to rethink happiness, Yom Kippur asks us to rethink what it means to live - to really live. What will we do with our time? Like many in our society, we can continue to look at our circumstances and blame bad luck or fate for our possible unhappiness. Or, we can deliberately and intentionally choose life.
Each of us stands here today. Each of us has difference circumstances. Some have been lucky, some have been healthy, some have experienced tragedy and loss, all have experienced judgement's cruel decree. And each of us can choose life.
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