If there is such a thing as an ideal death, it is described here in Parashat Vay'chi.
Jacob is on his deathbed. Joseph is with him in addition to his eleven other sons. Jacob is able to give each one of them a prediction of their future, and a blessing. He blesses his grand-children, Ephraim and Manasseh. Jacob witnesses the beautiful reconciliation between Joseph and his other brothers.
A beautiful midrash displays a similar peacefulness and meaningfulness to Jacob's death. Circled by his 12 sons, The 12 sons, once divided and now united .recite the Sh'ma, Sh'ma Yisrael Adonai Eloheinu Adonai Echad. But in this context, the prayer is not theological but familial. Remember, Jacob's name was changed to Yisrael. Jacob's sons are reassuring him: Listen dad. We know you've lived a hard life. We know that we have made many mistakes. But now we are all together in peace and love. We are one.
And Jacob responds in a whisper the second line of Sh'ma: Baruch shem k'vod malchuto l'olam Vaed: Blessed be God's kingdom for ever and ever. This is the last thing that happens before he dies.
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In this story, nothing is left unsaid. There are no regrets, no unfinished business. Jacob prepared for his death, blessing his children, forgiving them, loving them.
It's quite the example of an ideal death precisely because of its rarity. Many of our loved ones die suddenly. Others still pass after a battle with illness and pain that might prevent them from the reconciliation and serenity that we see in this portion.
And that's precisely what makes the story so powerful.
You likely remember the teaching regarding t'shuvah that is said during the High Holidays. When are you supposed to do t'shuvah?* Our tradition tells us that the answer is one day before you die. But of course, we do not know when that day will be, and thus we must dedicate each and every day to t'shuvah.
Similarly, we should strengthen our relationships and lessen any possible regrets and unfinished business by preparing for our death one day before we die.
Subconsciously, many of us think that there will always be time ... we can do it next winter break, or next High Holidays, or at the next family vacation. Jacob teaches us, no, we should do these things now.
This may seem a bit depressing, but it's meant to be inspiring. Jacob's actions gave him peace at the end of his long, complicated life, and they also enabled his children to live full lives, becoming the Jewish people and then strengthening their communities.
We're about to go into one of the darkest times of our people's history, as we move from Genesis to Exodus. But the blessings of Jacobs life and death will stay with us, as we use them to continue his journey.
